Who would listen

I know I've been bombing this blog with posts today and I'm not even sorry.

I guess I'm kind of boring to read about at the moment so you don't need to read this if you feel that way.

I just don't know who to turn to sometimes. The only person I'm honest with is my phsycotwat and every time he ends his mail with "hear from you next week" I feel disappointed because I wanted to keep writing somehow. Someone who will listen and I don't have to feel guilty for talking about myself.

What L said really bothers me, even though I know it's only partially true, if even true at all. We used to be friends and thinking back at it, she was a pretty shitty friend. I'm still hurt about it and it kind of sticks with me.

And that thing with that boy bothers me emmensly. It's like it just proved to me that no one would want me.

I don't know what's wrong with me, maybe I'm really tired. I'm just really down at the moment and have been for a while I guess.

I can't go through with meeting another doctor, even if it does mean getting me pills.

I want to escape. Just get away from everything and not have to care anymore. I don't know how though, exactly.

I woke up this morning with blood all over my cheek, I'd scratched a small wound open. I actually have them all over, I'm not sure what that means. I try to put lotion on because maybe my skin is just dry but I guess soft skin doesn't help when the anxiety is constantly itching.

x

/E