The cure for no real sickness

Yesterday makes the second time in three days that I've been at the gym for more than 2 hours. I need to watch that, it could easily become more of an obsession with me. I was already considering skipping today, so I could study and work out and sleep. But I don't deserve it, I didn't study as much as I could have yesterday and I shouldn't be able to take easy ways out because then I don't learn.

I just can't do anything. It's hopeless. I never had trouble getting out of bed before. Now I can't sleep at night and then I can't wake up in the morning.

I'm just so lost.

I'm going home on saturday, I should be happy about that! Seeing the father, seeing D... but no. Nothing.

Going home used to be my purpose of living, then I got with R and he took over that role. Now he's gone and I don't know, I'm kind of left without something to look forwards to.

Eat, sleep, study. And neither of those I manage to do well.

x

/E