Too much alcohol

No, not that I've been drinking ;)

After the party we got a shitload of disgusting red wine left over. We're talking 16 bottles.

What to do, what to do... Sangria party?

Maybe we should get drunk and write the tok essay collectively? haha...

aah just kill me now.

I know that's all some people see in me. I don't know if I feel like denying that it's true. I'm not sure if it is true. On some level it is. But I'm such a mess and I keep taking the easy way of killing my anxiety. Just don't believe that I, objectively looking at myself, think it's cool.

I read a book about kids who sell sex. There was a nice quote in there.

"I'd been hating myself for a while. And when he told me I was worthless I felt good, because it confirmed that feeling for me and that I could be right in just one emotion made me feel in control."

Self harm has a way of killing anxiety. And we all have different ways of hurting ourselves.

x

/E