Second, third, fourth and fifth chances

"If you always do what you always do, youll always get where you always get"

I called R yesterday, not sure why, Ive just been wanting to for days and yesterday I gave in.

Ive been drowning in memories lately and it gets too much. I dont know, I suppose Im moving on, and its not like hes giving me another chance anytime soon. Hes graduating, and then going away for a year... so yeah.

I saw him today in the schoolyard. Its been ages, his hair has grown. Yes, I dare writing that here because he doesnt read this anymore and if he read it hed be getting a haircut, he knows I liked his hair longer... thats how he got the nickname scruffy. My sister came up with it actually, it sounds like his name said quickly.

Im just longing to be in love again. The kind of love that makes you forget about everything else and smile stupidly every time you think of the person. That makes it unnatural to stay away from the other person, and impossible to be within eyesight of him without standing in the same square meter.

I remember being annoyed with the fact that whenever I looked over at R hed be glaring at me like I was all he needed to make him happy.

Id still be annoyed with it (omg I havnt gone completely soft)

But at the same time Id secretly feel butterflies in my stomach.

x

/E