Leap

"So what are you gona say to him?- Uhm... take me back or Ill jump? LoL"

I feel so stupid writing things like that about him when he doesnt even feel much for me and it just pisses him off.
Ruins my buzz. But I think he does feel somehing for me, or is at least willing to do so, because otherwise he woudlnt have let me convince him to meet up with me.
It started with me messaging him on facebook to read my blog and that I wanted to meet up and talk. He wrote back that, well, I should go away already. But being the needy, persistant me that I am, I called him. Told him what Ive been thinking lately. That I was so fucked up in my head before that I couldnt feel anything, for anyone. Then Ive been really insecure, just inable to say no and living on flattery from random boys. And now I want to be the best me I can be, and that involves him. That Ive changed... and Im not afraid to tell him all the things I used to be afraid of saying. I can look into his eyes and tell him hes amazing, without even blushing or looking away, because even though we havnt been talking I know hes amazing, he always has been and always will be.

Oh. And appearently Im more famous that I thought I was. For reasons I dont feel like posting here, the WBS school next to ours knows of me, and the kids used to always keep track of me on the schoolyard like omg is that really her etc. Normal reaction would be to be ashamed of course. But I cant really be. To be honest, Im almost proud. Im the fucking Paris Hilton of high school. Watch out for my new hit single, B-movie and leaked porn tape. And look out for the articles about me getting arrested in the newspapers.

x
/E