Poke

I poked R.

Said hi to him today. He looked so sad I just wanted to run over and hug him and kiss him and tell him its all gona be okay. Sometimes I almost forget were not together, its so unnatural. I can stand around and think about him or dream off during class. But when I actually see him I just want to run away and hide, I dont know what to do, its like I have to bite my toungue not to scream TAKE ME BACK FFS I LOVE YOU because it woudlnt turn out very well this time either...

urgh.

Will I ever get over him for real? Maybe I need a re-bound. That would be the 4rth re-bound Ive had since we broke up. If we never get back together, I feel like the rest of my life will consist of re-bounding and getting over him.

And the GM Fest! So many memories. Last time we had just gotten together and I remember how akward we were and I pointed him out to a friend of mine and she screamed out "Thats your boyfriend!? hes CUTE !!" so that he turned around... and I wanted to sink through the ground.

Me and F sit in class and talk about whether we want out exes back, were both kind of in the same situation, except shes talking to her boy a lot... her problem, aside from making up her mind, is getting him to commit, mine is to convince him I wont leave him again. First I need to be sure I wont leave him again. And Im not. FML. But I dont really have anything to feel bad about because I can totally change my mind about this, he isnt even part of it yet. I just daydream about him so much I feel like he almost is. Can you say creepy ex girlfriend? LoL. At least I dont stalk him. So far. Jk.

x

/E