Loose ends

"Loving me is like chewing on bone"

When I'm upset, I like to go out, walking or running around and around, preparing a speech in my head that I'm going to tell the person who caused this. The thing is, once I'm done, I don't feel angry anymore. Which is great. But I can't very well go out again at 1:30 in the morning.

So here we go. Anonymously.

Dear friend,

You've changed. It's not just in my head, people agree with it and I hear people say it about you. I love you, always, and this new version of you is fun, but it's not my best friend. I don't understand you, I don't know what to say to you, how to make you laugh, being around you just makes me feel like I'm not part of the fun that makes up your life. The more I text you the less you text me, and if I stopped contacting you I get the feeling that we'd never talk again. Btw, would you like to know the grand total of people who tell rumors about me and think Im a whore? 1 -You. You 2.0 doesn't even like me. You just pity me.

Dear ... "lover"? Either way.

I asked one thing of you. You don't need to love me, be faithful to me, or make it publically known that we have something or whatever. I asked to to be honest to me, and you lie to my face, over and over. And those things you say to my friend? He wants what's best for me, so he asks you what we actually have going. And you start by denying everything, when you realize that won't work you start saying I'm just some slut you hook up with occasionally. Okay for the hooking up part, but slut? Really? You and me, we are friends. Or well, were. Now I don't want anything from you. I mean what do you actually think you'll accomplish by telling my friend bad things about me? He takes my side either way, so all you achieve is him thinking you're an ass.

Had a great time today with some people from my old class, we met up and hung out and I regret not having gotten to know them better before. It's really great I get a chance to do so now.

Gonna finish dissing the ex on facebook (not R of course), then I'm going to sleep.

x

/E