Coming out (of the bathroom)

So I told you about the other day at the rhine, when I sat with some friends talking about stuff in general, and that was the first time I said it openly. And it wasn't even a big deal! Most people have some version of being fucked up in their head, and the few people I have told aren't really that shocked. I mean you kind of notice when you're around me. So I get it, there will be haters, but there already are anyways. And there are people who will think it's disgusting, but it is.

You'll probably wonder why I'm even telling you this. I don't actually know, I guess I'm tired of it and if you all know about it there's more pressure on me to get better.

It started at christmas 2007. With marshmallows. Continued with pasta, stuff that's easy. At first I didn't even care, I didn't know anything about losing/gaining weight and didn't really think about what I was doing. I became aware of the fact that I do it even though I don't want to in october 2009. About a year ago I almost recovered but then relapsed a few times in autumn and last christmas I fell into it again completely.

I'm technically in recovery. I've been worse before, but it's still not good.

I normally don't eat much. I eat so little people react to it. But I'm not thin right? Want to figure that one out? I do eat, at times. A lot. Like, a lot. And then I force it out of me again.

So there you go. You'd probably figured it out already.

Since I'm all out of the closet, or more like out of the bathroom, now (brownie points to you if you got that one;)), just wanted to say that I answer any questions... And support anyone who may be in the same situation. I was actually really shocked when I told a friend and found out that she'd had it too, but recovered. So she really helps me.

But yeah. Guess that's it.

Just promise not to become inspired. Because it isn't fun. At all.

x

/E