Emotionless me

"There is something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has ceased to love"

So the be-yourself and be-more-open criticism has escalated to a "the first time I saw you I thought you looked at me thinking you're too good to associate with me". It's true. Everyone thinks so. So just to make clear: I don't think I'm better than anyone... If it looks like it, then it's just me being shy.

I've started to even notice it myself. As soon as someone new enters the room, I silence, and if I say anything I turn to the person I already knew.

So from now on, just know that it's not because I don't like you, it's because I think you don't like me.

I was a little shocked about what a teacher told me the other day. I'd hugged a friend cos she was sad, well the whole situation was sad, and then when he ran into me in the corridor he said "I didn't know you had a soft side! You hide it so well". Really, do I seem so cold that even the teachers think I'm emotionless? Apparently... I got away with a smile and a "Don't tell anyone;)". Then he tried to make it his and my secret, like that we both needed to maintain a harsh image, and then I got away. Ridiculous. But worth thinking about.

x

/E