remember me, special needs

I'm a little bit down at the moment. F thought I looked thin, which is good. The rest is all bad. I feel like life is a network, kind of like atoms forming a whole, and if my bonds were cut off it wouldn't matter. I'm insignificant. I'm alone. You know how, when making a house out of playing cards you lean them on each other? I'm a card trying to stand on it's own without another card to lean on. Not that I have to be. I just kind of deserve to be, because it's me who keeps messing things up. There's something wrong with my demands, or my attitude, or me as a whole. I'm spare parts that don't quite fit together but still make up a somewhat functioning machine. The feeling when you want to vomit but you can't? That's the feeling I have about crying right now.