Not that long ago

Have you ever been afraid of being alone because you don't know what you'd do to yourself? I've had that feeling, so I know what it's like. That doesn't make it any easier to see someone else have that. And as much as I tell myself that she's gonna be okay, I'm not too convinced. She could have died. It's only been a year. I think I'm gonna break with stress. I just want to escape, really. Where to, is the question. The father found a horse so the sister is going to sweden this weekend to ride it. If it goes well, they'll buy it. If they do, I'm going to Sweden too, maybe impulsively the weekend after. Right now I just want to get through tomorrow. I'm gonna fail a history exam so bad. I studied for 5 hours today but nothing's stuck in my head. Aand I just remembered the biology essays I have to give in. Fuck.