Well rooted insecurities

People sometimes comment on how I always extend my feet when I sit so my knees don't rest on the chair. I never think about it, I do it automatically. But now that I've been made aware of it, I actually remember how it started.

In junior school we'd sit in circles on chairs for the music class. Now that no table was in the way, I first started noticing how my thighs spread out and looked gigantic when I was resting them on the chair. So I started sitting with my feet extended, only my toes touching the ground, so my legs weren't resting on the chair and the fat didn't spread out.

I can't believe I still do it out of habit.

I wonder if I'll ever stop feeling fat. (Of course I will, when I'm thin)

x

/E