Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen

Oh we're still so young, desperate for attention.

Just got home. And no, I didn't leave with some boy, I slept over at Ns house. We went to this theatre party yesterday and typically me I ditched the people I came with to hang out with other people I ran into. I feel like I've been such a bad friend to her lately, but she doesn't seem to agree.

The song I quoted, by the way, is called The only difference between martyrdom and suicide is press coverage.

My mom brought up the phsychiatrist appointment which I have in less than a week, and mentioned that the doctor had suggested medication. I thought that was just to go over all possibilities and I never thought I was fucked up enough for happy pills, plus I'm not too happy about the fact that most antidepressents make you gain weight. But prozac doesn't...

I've recently been in contact with an old friend who I haven't really known since we were like 14-15. He asked me why I'm unhappy when my parents are cool, boys (according to him) throw themselves at my feet and I have enough friends who've got my back when I'm down.

Maybe I just want attention?

"I'm a teenage drama queen,

Starve myself for self-esteem"

But yesterday was a confidence boost.

I was, though, kind of confused by the fact that a boy who was there who's said before that he doesn't want anything more with me couldn't take his eyes of me. Boys are complicated.

Gotta go buy stuff to make cupcakes now, more later.

x

/E