"New years resolutions"?

I don't like them, because I never stick to them and the next year they just feel ridiculous.

Last year it was to try to do okay without R, who I'd just broken up with. I slept with him on the first of january. Fail.

The year before it was to recover form my ED.

The preceding years, back to as far as I can remember, it's been to lose weight.

I remember when it turned 2000, when I was what, 5-6 years old, I wanted to be thin. It hurts to think about. I wasn't even fat. I can't believe it goes that far back.

So this year?

Other than getting over the dysfunctional relation to food, I guess I should be nicer to people. Read: stop using boys when I'm bored/down.

Keep in touch with people better.

I kind of like to focus on one thing at the time though.

And I can't believe how many things I've looked at and thought "January's problem".

Oh and by the way, I've chosen to forget about a certain boys wish for me not to sleep with anyone else in the holidays. I'm also planning on mindfucking him and telling him I wish him and his new (invented by me) girl who I hear he's been seen with, the best of luck.

I'm usually cool with guys and don't do this womanly playing games and testing him bullshit, but with this one I'll make an exception. And the haters cheer.

x

/E