Uniform

I saw R today, he came by school in a military uniform.

I didn't even talk to him. He wouldn't have wanted to talk to me.

I started shaking and just wanted to disappear.

I guess I don't really want to talk about it.

I read Ps post and felt like shit because obviously I would have preferred his lies to be true. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in love with him or anything, and frankly I think he's shallow, but I kind of want him to want me and no one else. The reason that that's not the case is the very reason why I don't want him anymore. It's just so humiliating when he's being a whore. I don't want to be the only one who'll have him, that makes me his last resort. Girls want to hear that he only wants her, not that he'd have anyone and she was just kind of around.

Tonight I'm going to Cs birthday party. He's turning 15, little sweetheart.

I'm bringing cookies but they turned out kind of burned. I mean they taste nice but they look dark brown around the edges. I've made them before and that's the only way they don't taste doughy in the middle.

Oh well, it'll be fun anyways.

I'll just have to come later because of basketball practice, I have to go otherwise I don't get to play on the game tomorrow.

Play safe tonight children.

x

/E