Drifting

"There are two sides to every story, and this is mine. The right one."

So yesterday I was supposed to meet up with Lara in the evening but she texts me like she has to stay home cos shes tired and her mom wont let her go out anyways. I'm kindof tired too so I stay in, watch a movie and go to bed. Then I get a call, I think it's her at first but it's her mom, asking where she is. Apparently she went out and let her mom think she was with me. At this point I'm freaking out thinking she jumped off a bridge. Then I realize that it's also possible that she's out with someone else and at first I think it could be a boy. So I call her a million times until she picks up and shes with another friend, female, someone in the city. She "had to get away from her mom" and then starts talking like she's expecting me to listen to her problems at this point? So I told her to tell the other friend all about it and then hung up. But then I felt bad, not sure why but I was really tired, so I texted her and then left a voicemail because she wouldn't pick up again.

I mean.... I try to listed to her. I thought I wasn't doing so bad, but I suppose I'm not as much the person she wants to talk to as that other girl...

Sometimes I think Lara only wants to be my friend when I need her. When I'm doing bad and she gets to be the one taking care of someone. But other than R I've never been able to tell anyone about stuff thats wrong without feeling that I'm bothering the other person.

If Lara had called me yesterday I would have met up with her and listened to her. I feel like if my kid hurt itself and asked for the nanny.

Putting that one up for adoption.

x

/E