Why don't you ever call?

Theres nothing I hate more than feeling like I'm caring about someone more than they care about me. It's like I'm so obsessed with not being needy that I'm afraid to be the first to pick up the phone. I'm under the impression that if someone wants to see me, they will call. 

But at the same time, sometimes you're happy someone contacts you even though you wouldn't have thought of contacting them at that time. And the other person doesn't always want to be the one starting a conversation. 

I just.. I have the imprinted principle that if someone doesn't initiate a meeting they're not worthy of my time. It's just that my own will isn't included in that principle. Maybe I want to see someone and don't feel like waiting around for them. I'm too cautious of not being wanted to do anything. So I block out that feeling. 

x

/E