And why? Because it's all so fucking fake.
Maybe I just think so because I can't remember what it felt like to actually love someone who loves you back, for longer than the thrill of being with someone new.
I guess it's great for the people who have someone but I don't want to be part of it in any way and I don't see how I could do something similar.
I don't know. Sure, it would be nice to have someone love me, to be the most important part of someones life and make him happy, but at the same time... meh. Not worth it.
Everything is so shallow and temporary to me. Life in general is shallow and temporary. Somehow that doesn't comfort me anymore.
What's the point? There is none.
You have your goals and you find happiness in achieving them, even though they don't matter in a larger context.
I'm obviously too sick for someone to love me. I don't want anyone else to have to go through all of it with me.
Hm. I'm gonna get around to calling that doctor. Happy pills, yay.
x
/E
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