Moving on

"Moving on" is the title of the playlist I've got on repeat on my phone. Mostly airborne toxic event songs, and all american rejects, with a touch of IAMX and Mika.
I'm the kind of person who likes to reduce long pieces of text to bullet points, and if I can boil it down to a simple formula, that's optimal. So when it comes to all the verses and instructions circulating my mind right now, I want to list them as achievable points on a check list, and then maybe stop thinking about it all the time.
So, here it is: How to move on, according to me.
Observe that this is the best option even if you want the person back. If it's ever going to happen again, you need to get past the intense emotions that arise after breaking things off. Once you do, you might not even want him/her back.
-While it's happening: I realise that there's not much use thinking about what you should have said while you were breaking up, but it's still step one, so I'm going to start here. Even if you don't agree that you should end things, agree that you need space and time to think. Try not to part on too much of a hostile note. If you do, send a text a day after, saying something like "I'm sorry for how things ended. We had a lot of good times together, but it went bad. I agree that we should re-evaluate things."
-Right afterwards: Allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling. You might be angry, sad, or anything else, and that's okay. You're going to want to call him/her, but don't. Put the phone down, step away from your laptop. Don't follow his/her every move on social media. Don't ask all your common friends how he/she's doing. Just focus on yourself, and don't forget to breathe.
-For the following 2-3 weeks: Do things you enjoy, spend time with people you like, reconnect with family and old friends. You'll be thinking about and missing him/her, that's okay, but don't contact him/her while you're in this emotional state, it won't do anyone any good. Try to think about what went wrong in the relationship, maybe you don't agree with the reasons the other person had to break up, if he/she even told you their reasons, but think about what you weren't happy with, what both of you did wrong.
-Once it's been 2-4 weeks since the breakup: Once you feel like you know how you feel about the whole thing, you might want to contact your ex. If not, then good for you.
At this point, it's okay to initiate contact. Your ex might have tried to contact you already, and if you've waited to answer until you've got it together, that's great. Depending on how you left things, you might have to start softly with some safe texts, but if you want to talk about things a meeting in person in best. If your ex is very bitter, give it another week. I personally think that he/she still owes you closure, but unfortunately, not everyone feels that way. Meet on neutral ground, try to relax, and talk about how things went wrong, at least for future reference, so you avoid making the same mistakes in future relationships.
After this, hopefully you'll have a sense of closure. Without acting desperate, leave it on a positive note, and say something like "let's stay in touch" with a bit of a wink. If the person contacts you after that, you can choose if you want to start seeing him/her again, or if you just want to leave it and move on. If the person doesn't contact you, he/she doesn't deserve you in the first place. I'd say don't contact them  first, it won't do any good, they're probably not into the idea of starting to see you again, and that's okay. It wasn't mean to be.
The point is that by following this system, you're in a place where you can make a rational decision about whether he/she is worth your efforts.

So now let's narrow it down:
1. Agree that you need time apart.
2. Breathe. Allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling.
3. Focus on yourself, and realise that you don't need the other person.
4. Once you've got it together, you're allowed to contact your ex to find closure.
5. After talking to him/her, you can think rationally about the relationship and whether it's worth giving another try. (note: if the other person doesn't contact you, he/she isn't worth the trouble.)

Sorry about the long post but at least now it's out of my head.