I sometimes feel so disappointed in myself for not just letting it go, deciding that I'm better off without him and not expecting him to call. I can still get so angry with him for the way he acted, and even more angry with myself for not being angry with him then, but just being sad and clingy. I'd kind of like to yell at him that he's wrong, and that he's lying to himself, that he's an idiot for going home with someone else and that everything his his fault. Even though it's not. Well, a little bit.
The thing is that I thought that I'd have let go of that frustration by now.
Every day, my feelings for him fade a little, and I think about him less, but it's still there, and I hate not being able to talk to him, but at the same time, I have no idea what I would say. I don't know what I would get out of being with him again, I just know that I really want to see him, talk to him, and hold him close.
I just keep thinking that he'll call, and that if he doesn't, there's no use pushing it.
I'd just really want to know what he's thinking right now, how he spends his time, if he's seeing someone, and if he's wondering the same about me.
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