May not update for a while after this

I'm just going to stay in this room until I whither and die. Lock the door and barricade the balcony. Lay in this bed forever.
I'm getting worse and I don't know what to do. It's like when you're half asleep and about to fall out of your bed. That feeling. All. The. Time. I guess it's panic, or maybe anxiety, or stress. Either way, I can't live with it. I cope in whatever manner I can but I'm missing school to avoid people seeing me like this and I hate myself so much for all of this. I should deal with it, I just don't know were to start.

x
/E