Stupid me

For now I'm doing my best to keep my hands of a certain 16 year old, who is making it quite difficult. The competition factor doesn't really make it better, since P seems to always take an interest in the boys I want to get with, but I keep telling myself to leave it. He's a kid and all in all he's not on my to do list. 

You know how, whenever I'm getting serious with someone, I freak out and feel a need to get with someone else? Like just to ruin everything myself before something else blocks my happiness, because I might as well? Previously mentioned boy is that distraction I use to ruin everything with. 

But despite my mild attempts to drive M away, he isn't going anywhere. He says he loves me, that he wants to be with me. I can't stop thinking about him, talking about him, which drives poor C crazy. 

Oh why, oh why do I have to be so charming!? No, just kidding, I realize I sound like that, and I'm actually leaving out a lot of people who would get disappointed if I got with M. I mean, when I get with M. Hopefully. 

Oh, it will all just work itself out. 

x

/E