Someone like me

Yep, this is how it feels. To be in love with.. Never mind To like someone you're not getting with.

Yeah, I almost used the L word. Creepy.

I don't want to be, and I kept telling myself I wouldn't be, but I think about him all the time. I imagine conversations we'd have, then I tell myself it's not gonna happen, then I plot how to make it happen, then I force the thought out of my head.

I want to tell him so he can laugh at me and I can start getting over it. But I won't, I'm too embarrassed. Not that there's anything wrong with him, but he's wrong for me.

Fuck, fuck, fuck..

Guys, what do I do now?

Do I tell him?

Do I ignore it?

.. do I keep sleeping with him?

Yeah, third option is really stupid, but that's probably the one it's gonna turn out to be.

Knowing me, I won't be able to not tell him either.

Knowing him.. actually I don't know him that well. Either just leave and ignore me for a few weeks before trying to sleep with me again, or suggest one of those asshole keeping it a secret relationships kind of things.

I don't even know what I want with him. I just know I like him.

And the problem is that every time I say that I can be a good girl when a boy is worth being faithful to, he scoffs and rolls his eyes, and when I say I don't do the asshole thing where I give every boy the same romantic speech, he's just like: "Whatever you want to believe".

The worst thing is I want to prove myself to him. I want to kiss him without him forcing his tongue down my throat and I want him to be serious when he says that he could lay next to me forever.

I may delete or alter this later.. so consider yourself lucky if you read this ;)

x

/E