Raphael

R deleted me on facebook.

Maybe he read that last entry and decided we were done. That I lied to him or something, when I said I didn't want anyone but him. If he'd call me and tell me he'd want me back, I would get back with him without blinking and never think of that boy I "like" again. Loving R is like breathing. But I need a life. I can't just sob about him hating me.

R, I love you, I always will, breaking up with you was a horrible decision but I was in a bad place and I needed to get some perspective.

You wanted me to go away though, remember?

He met up with me even though he insisted he didn't want to get back together with me. Then why even see me? Why pick up the phone when I call when he already knows what I want?

I wonder if he'd pick up if I'd call now.

But if I do I'll just cry.

x

/E