You know how, after weeks of stress, when you go on holidays, you get sick right away, because the sickness was on hold until your body was in a more relaxed state?
Well, that's what it's like for me, but like all the time. As soon as I relax and start reflecting, all that comes out is how miserable I am. I'm terrified of people distancing themselves from me because I'm sad all the time, ever since all that drama with L. So I try not to be around people when I'm that way. What happens is I'm never with people. I'm afraid to talk to people because before I know it I'm going on and on about my issues. So people stop including me in things because they think I'm not interested in hanging out.
Well, that's how I explain why some people I used to meet with outside of school all the time would think it's okay to loudly discuss their plans later right in front of me without inviting me. A year ago I would have been invited. What happened? Why don't they like me?
It's easy to get caught up in thinking that no one likes me. But then I just get told that M likes me. And my parents most of the time, cos they kind of have to. My bunny doesn't like me. My horse doesn't like me.
And sometimes I feel like it's different with M 'cos it's sort of like he settled for me.
Inga kommentarer:
Skicka en kommentar