Grow up

“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”

I was told to grow up today. So please define to me what grown up is? It sure isn't going out and getting drunk and doing shit you don't regret but wouldn't have done sober that the people who think you should grow up go around gossiping about. But it isn't rolling your eyes at people who are having more fun than you either. And it sure as shit isn't having 5 gfs at the same time and also hitting on the new girl.

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I have thought that you would come back lately.. to tear my soul away from me... cos when I see you you rip my heart out... but all the same you're not to blame... babe, babe .. I love you still.

I want you back by the kooks. My staying-up-all-night-crying-my-eyes-out-song.

Im starting to look pathetic. Luckily he doesn't read this. At least he didn't before, because he didn't want to hear about the other boys.

All I want to do is talk to him, but I don't want to scare him off. But people are telling me I need to do something. Its time to do something.

I want to be friends with him. Then I'll see if I've turned him into something greater than he really is in my daydreams, or if theres something. I just want to move in either direction, towards him or away from him.

I think Im gonna call him tonight.

x

/E