Alone

M left now. I went to the airport to see him off. It's crazy lonely around here now, but my sheets sort of smell like him still, so that's at least something. And I'll get to see him on Sunday.
It's weird how quickly I get used to having someone who I spend 24/7 with. I mean except for school I hardly had a moment alone in the past week, which might sound annoying but I actually love it. So now I'll have to learn to stand on my own legs, which might be good practice considering that he'll be away starting January and I then won't see him much - if at all - until August. Yep, 8 months of military training with a slim possibility of him getting a day off when I'm in Sweden. So that'll suck. But at least he'll be done with that by the time I move to Stockholm. Then, hopefully, he'll find work close to me.

He keeps saying things that apply that we'll have a future together, and surprisingly I don't mind at all. Comments like "we'd have to have a big garage to fit the cars I'm gonna have" followed by a wink kind of makes my heart jolt. I don't think he even realizes, to him it's more of a by-passing comment with a hint of humor. I test him too, saying things like how he'd have to teach our hypothetical future kids to ski, and he just smiles and hugs me or kisses me on the cheek.
He's gotten used to my fear of PDA and seemed happily surprised when I shyly kissed him goodbye at the airport.

I'm just so happy to have someone who is just the right amount of different and special and who thinks I'm absolutely lovely just the way I am.
I hope he gets home alright tonight.