I'm getting close

If you thought the title was sexual then you, too, have a sick mind ...


The closer I get to graduation the less scary it seems and the more I long for it. I have an idea of what university I want to go to now and even if I don't get in there I want to live in Stockholm for the next few years. I don't know why, but I've decided upon that now. But what just struck me a moment ago is that I will have no connection to the people I go to school with anymore, and it's completely up to me who I want to stay in touch with. Many of the people I will probably never see again in my life, and that after being through so much together. There are always these people who you get along well with, but you're not good enough friends to meet up. Those are the kind of people I'll miss, I guess.

I think it'd be different to see someone after graduation. We're no longer huddling together at the back of the classroom and discretely giggling about theories of the teachers personal life, or heatedly discussing what influence Maos personality had on his rise to power; we're not laughing together, crying together and relying on each other any more. We will lose the one thing that ties us together and probably realize that we have very little in common after all. A dissolved group of struggling students scurrying off to different corners of the world to pursue reality, and if we do meet, we will meet on our own terms, as adults, and probably not have much to talk about beyond reminiscing over our high school years.

I'm getting closer and closer to leaving it all behind. Just like I left Stockholm behind, my school there, and I haven't stayed in touch with a single person from the junior school I went to for 6 years. Stockholm is home and I'm returning there now, but there is no way of getting back the old life I left behind. In a way, I'm leaving Basel behind, and I wonder if I'll miss it.

x
/E