Drown next to me

I am...

(fatuglyworthlessstupid-STOP IT THATS NOT HELPFUL)

I am stressed out. And I miss M.

It's just after midnight and I feel like I'm swimming in cream and won't get out until I either drown or churn it to butter.
Like the rat in that metaphor.
Are you the rat that drowns or the rat that swims until the cream turns to butter?
Drowning seems tempting at the moment.
But rather, I drench myself in coffee.

x
/E