How close is close enough?

So as it turns out - surprise, surprise - throwing up all night followed by a day of eating weird is not a great preparation for a 2 hour workout after a week of rest. At cardio I thought I was going to throw up and at weight lifting I thought I was gonna faint. But now I'm happy, somehow. 

I love working out, especially if I end up all sweaty and with a burn in my throat. The best is cardio first and then weights, because then I'm really warmed up and can sweat when I'm doing static things. It's so annoying to do strenuous exercises and not sweat, it's like you get over-heated. That's also why I don't like jogging in the sun, my face just goes red and I get really warm before I get a chance to start sweating. A moist fog or light rain is the best, because then it's more normal when you break a sweat. 

Enough on that, or maybe more later. I don't know, do you want to read about how I work out? Some tips on foods and stuff? Hypocritical me, haha, telling people how to eat while not doing it myself, but I theoretically know everything, I even taught my nutritionist some things. 

But anyways.   

I called D, even though it would have made me heaps more happy had he called me first. But I needed to plan my weekend and I wanted to see him before he left on Saturday evening, otherwise we wouldn't have seen each other until like, October, or maybe even not until December. So I'm going to his tomorrow night. The big goodbye moment, kind of dreading that. Though honestly, I don't know where we stand. It's all a bit weird. He likes me, he ignores me, he supposedly suppresses feelings for me so it won't be so bad when I'm not around, he doesn't text or message for months at the time as not to miss me so much... is this the wad of bullshit I'd normally classify it as or does it make a bit of sense? I'd say he was the regular asshole using me for sex, if he at least showed some enthusiasm about doing me and didn't just want to cuddle all the f-ing time.  

I just know that I'm crushing on him hard enough to be this paranoid and obsessive. But hey, I figure, I don't bug him when I'm not around, so I might as well go for it the few weeks per year I'm actually here. 

I'm getting up at 8 tomorrow, cos I have a horseback riding lesson at 10. I considered getting up earlier and running a bit beforehand, but I need to sleep and I can't seem to fall asleep before midnight. That'll rock once school starts... oh well. 

So good night. And yes, I'm getting back to updating more now, mainly because I started working on some school work on my laptop and I need a way to procrastinate that doesn't involve eating. 

And because I love you all, of course. 

x

/E