Sorry that it's been ages.
I've been spending a lot of time with M. I have nightmares about school. Swedish application services fucked up and unless I get through to them in the next few days I won't get into uni this year, which isn't so bad if it wasn't for the feeling of rejection I get by the fact that they deleted me from the admission process due to the fact that they don't have anything to prove which courses I had in high school (I sent the document to them, but as I said, they fucked up... like always). Talking about it makes me angry. I get more frequent anxiety attacks and chest pains, and tension in my muscles. The horse doesn't respect me, she plays all kinds of tricks on me and I feel too down to be persistent and prove that I'm in charge with her.
I guess thinking about everything just makes me feel anxious so I don't want to write about it.
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